1. Kelly

   Posted June 29, 2009 at 9:13 am | Permalink

   I have a friend that uses a dating service online that only caters to women finding Jewish men that make over $100k and work in the tech industry.

   I was surprised to see such a niche network. After many dates - She is still single.

   
   
2. Haely

   Posted June 29, 2009 at 9:26 am | Permalink

   Christian Farmers? Seriously? Thank gawd we have you & Black Box! Otherwise I’d be left to become a white male with a passion for cattle and corn fed females.

   
   
3. OnlineBootyCall

   Posted June 29, 2009 at 11:10 am | Permalink

   You should attend idate Miami, that conference is a better representation of the dating industry. That said, you got a couple things right: online dating can improve, many dating execs don’t reflect their customers.

   However, online dating is not dead. Social networks like MySpace lost traction because too many people were trying to make it a place to hook up. Users prefer a separation between their dating life and their friends/coworkers. Nobody likes their dating drama on display all over their Facebook wall.

   No worries, we still have love for ya! Our site has prospered because we cater to casual daters and we take a light-hearted approach to dating. bTweeners love us haha..

   
   
4. Mike CJ

   Posted June 29, 2009 at 11:12 am | Permalink

   It’s interesting - I’d thought for some time that the whole concept of dating sites was slipping away, and it seems that is the case. The thing is, through Twitter, Linked in, Facebook and Friends reunited, I can probably hook up with people in every major city in the world now. Not necessarily for a date, but those kind of meet ups can lead to pretty much anything you want them to…

   
   
5. Paula S.

   Posted June 29, 2009 at 7:51 pm | Permalink

   While I’m not sure what the answers are to the silly, ridiculous dating sites that I’ve seen my girlfriends use, it’s so refreshing to see that you’re trying to find out what direction this needs to go in. Maybe it’s social networking. I’m not sure. I’m so glad you’re searching for answers to find a “positive” way where real people can meet other real people. What’s out there is certainly not working. I wish you the best of luck! The dating community needs you.

   
   
6. Sarah Cook

   Posted June 29, 2009 at 11:12 pm | Permalink

   I really can’t believe how dead the online dating scene is, every site is the same, there’s no differentiator.

   I hope you guys fill the void out there.

   xoxo

   
   
7. Haley

   Posted June 30, 2009 at 7:56 am | Permalink

   Wow! I think it’s fantastic that someone has picked up where dating sites have left off. I’m super excited for this site’s launch. It’s time for a change. I’ve always felt on-line dating sites were just tools for finding a mate, but seriously lacked community. It looks like Blackbox is going to fill that void.

   I’m excited!

   Much love to you all.

   
   
8. Sean

   Posted June 30, 2009 at 9:13 am | Permalink

   Interesting take. I’d like to see more notes, info from the conference.

   I don’t think online dating is dead or has “Jumped the Shark” (which is a lazy comparison), it just mostly lacks innovation, except for OK Cupid, which is pretty awesome. .Search was crap before Google, and online dating needs it’s Google. People are dating on Facebook, because it more closely models the real world. Since people are putting more real information online, those relationships form naturally. So I actually think the future is richer social networks, not necessarily private spaces.

   Honestly, I’d like to understand, more specifically the goals for this site. Is it supposed to be more than a blog (not that being a blog is bad), and if so, what exactly?

   
   
9. Andy

   Posted June 30, 2009 at 9:54 am | Permalink

   It’s great to hear you talking about this. I can’t stand the “shopping” aspect of online dating. I’ve tried it a couple times and the fact that you met in a “dating” context puts this weird pressure on the meet-up.

   I want to find people who are interesting, not mathematically identical to me! I’d rather make the decision to take it to the next level based on a more natural progression from meeting to talking to realizing that something might be there. With dating sites it’s like “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” right from the start. Weird.

   
   
10. Cathy

    Posted June 30, 2009 at 9:58 am | Permalink

    Looking for meaningful connections on traditional dating sites is like swimming through a sea of anonymity. I think users want a site where they can ask “where are my people?” and find them in a natural way.

    
    
11. Torgan

    Posted July 1, 2009 at 11:07 am | Permalink

    People have a lifetime of struggle trying to figure out who THEY are. Using a site that depends on an algorithm isn’t the best way imo.

    Think about how different you are now in comparison to 3 years ago.

    Am I making a dumb point?

    
    
12. Mary

    Posted July 1, 2009 at 8:53 pm | Permalink

    Hi April,

    I’m not at all surprised that the dating industry is in trouble. It just seems like such a lame way to meet people. Pretty much everyone I know starts out on dating sites because they want to expand their network. But dating sites aren’t geared to expanding a network. They’re geared to helping you meet your “soul mate” so you can settle down and stop expanding your network. It doesn’t make sense. In our lives we go from school where we meet people at parties, in class, in the cafeteria, at concerts, on outings. Our Universe grows. We flirt, we screw, we blow people off or we add them to our list of friends with benefits. Then, we grow up, get jobs and get isolated. The whole notion of looking at profiles (most of them enhanced to make the profilee look his/her best), exchanging a clever message or two, comparing test scores (how is it I always end up as “kinkier than”), then finally agreeing to meet in some noisy bar just doesn’t make sense. One dating site, which shall go unnamed, charges $100/quarter to match you, puts you through an unreal series of Q&A exchanges, then gives you the option to cancel out because “the chemistry” isn’t there. But wait don’t you actually have to mix chemicals to have chemistry? How can you know there’s no chemistry if you haven’t been out of cyberspace together? Unreal!
    Another unreal aspect of this for me is the notion of bringing people into my circle of friends untested. Back in the “old days” I got to watch someone interact with my friends. I know if someone is a part of my group, they might have a chance of meeting my standards of cool (limited as they may be). On dating sites, it’s always the one-on-one with strangers who appear, then hopefully, disappear if they’re not date-worthy. Seems like a waste of effort. I want to test people’s proclaimed knowledge of Andrew Blake films. Prove to me that you’re fun, interesting and have a gaggle of creative friends to expand my own gaggle.
    The deal-killer on dating sites for me is that while many people bill themselves as social butterflies, flitting from one group of fantastic friends to another, most of them just want to find someone to go home with, have sex, and then, if they’re lucky, sit next to you while they watch Black Adder and check out. I am logging off for good!

    Looking forward to seeing what you’re cooking up.

    
    
13. Wen

    Posted July 3, 2009 at 7:27 am | Permalink

    If there’s a way to meet people and date it will happen no matter what medium they use.

    
    
14. georgette

    Posted July 3, 2009 at 12:27 pm | Permalink

    hello beautiful woman,

    dating sites, great one to put on the table. I think in this life no matter who we are, or where we are, we are always going to be faced with the fact that some of us need more help than others when it comes to meeting new people.

    now with that being said, I think that dating sites have great potential, and most likely make some great matches. no doubt about it. however I personally feel that the formula is a little archaic.

    I think that no matter what you are looking for, boyfriend, girlfriend, dom, submissive, booty call, friends with benefit, etc. that often times we all skip the foreplay and try to go right to the sack. The foreplay in this area of meeting new people is the “opportunity” to make a friend regardless of the outcome. I think we limit our search when all we think is dating, etc. I personally feel if we want to bring another or more than one person into our life that we could greatly benefit from getting to know a person a decent amount of time before the routine of date dinner sex, and then next. There is just no depth to these type of connections. (I do agree it depends on what you are looking for, but when a person is calling out, “quickie” that is all they will get” so being frustrated in the situation that a more long term friendship/relationship has not evolved, is “insanity”.

    why are we in a hurry to be with somebody when we hardly know them. shone recommends (and of which I can speak from experience cause it was the way with us) that it takes a good year to really get to know somebody. In that year time, a great friendship can be created, of course sex can be involved, and it gives an opportunity for two people two get to see each other in different applications of life. how they deal with stress, how they deal with conflict, what motivates them, what are their likes, their dislikes, how do they treat you on a consistent basis, and if they are just part timer friends/lovers. In this time there needs no presense of jealousy, fear, or unrealistic expectations. Especially if this is a potential mate. Cause these type of energies only pull two people apart and not seal them together. Our new man is not our father, he is a perspective “lover” same with our new woman, she is not our mother, she is a perspective “lover”. Up until the point of a long term relationship the longest relationships people have had are with their parents. And it’s really not so recommended to take that type of relationship into your life with a lover.

    So getting back to the platform of dating sites. I think that their real point needs to be just to bring people together. Provide more opportunities for greater interactions between people, so that genuine connections can be made. Then regardless of the outcome, a person will either end up with a new lover or a lifetime friend. A site that encourages everybody to be kind, treat others with compassion, a lack of judgement on all basis, and provides a creative aspect to bring out the focus of energies that draws people together and that does not repel them.

    And in the event the operators or webmasters themselves have not been in a successful long term relationship, then by all means, they should not be the ones giving advice on maintaining relationships. (see my reasoning here?) a successful long term relationship involves skills that are not developed in many short time and lacking relationships. A person still needs to grow and experience more life so that they have more to bring to the table. This is not a criticism, this is just the way it is.

    If we want a long term sexually and fulfilling relationship, then it is going to take time to develop it. There are no gimmicks. And if one does not have patience, then they need to come to the realization, that this is just fine, just not too expect too much from the interactions. It’s a simple formula really, it’s just that the more simpler things are, the more time they take, and the more challenging it is for most people.

    **and

    I am in a relationship (man+woman), and now we are looking to add another woman to our relationship. So this is fresh on my mind, because I am in a seeking process, we have met a couple of potential girls, however only time will tell if they are going to be matches. For now, friendships are all that is necessary, and an open mind to continually meet new girls until we get the one that is just right. It’s a great time of exploration for us, and we are enjoying every last step. She is one that will be in erotic videos with me, photographs, and will share the bed with both shone and I. And this of course is probably another topic we can discuss in more detail on another blog post.

    so great to share adventures with you girl! love talking with you, and look forward to the next time we connect in the real world.

    hugs and kisses
    georgette

    
    
15. Chantelle Austin

    Posted July 11, 2009 at 3:07 am | Permalink

    Actually that’s about right, I’m finding that we are starting to meet new people on Facebook and Twitter that are like minded.

    While we still using dating sites to meet playmates, we are finding that sometimes we meet better quality people by accident or through the social media avenues I’m using. Add to that the involvement in sex positive groups and that increases the opportunities we have of meeting like minded people again.

    Mmm, can’t wait till the Blackbox Republic is in full swing! Not to meet playmates but just to have new friends who are likeminded and accepting of who we are

    Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? hehe

    xo

    Bring it on!

    
    
16. Internet Dating Conf

    Posted October 13, 2009 at 4:58 pm | Permalink

    In a video you made at the end of the event, you made a comment that certain certain companies were not at the event at all. Yet, in the video on the website, there they are, actually there and fully in attendance.

    http://www.idate2009.com/eventvideo-la-2009.php

    At the current stage, I saw a change in London, the industry is turning a corner and is beginning to reinvent itself for the better.

    
    

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1. By iDate LA 2009 Recap | XXXBlackBook Online Dating | Sexy Singles Match on June 30, 2009 at 5:00 pm

   [...] get an unbiased reaction to the show, let’s hear from @aprilblackbox, who did this video review of iDate LA. I started the #idatela2009 hashtag on Twitter. Only 4 messages which was disappointing. [...]